• Shaken

      posted in Life In General by Kay on November 10, 2016

      I’m still in shock. I know shock is something many of you are feeling as well. This reality, the one where he wins the election and actually is selected by the people to be the face and leadership of this country, was not one I had ever foreseen as a legitimate future. I didn’t mentally plan for it. I honestly refused to believe that people would choose racism, sexism, bigotry, ignorance, and hatred. I refused to believe that so many people could possible feel that way.

      But they do. I don’t know how to process this. I do not understand how so many people could have possibly wanted anything that this man stands for as a representation of our country. I literally DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I don’t know how to process this. I spent the majority of yesterday sitting on my couch in a blanket, with my cat, just thinking. Trying to mentally work through what this kind of result could possibly mean for our country. Not just what kind of horrifying changes his presidency will bring about, but also the impact that such a huge amount of the population of the country that I live in could put their support behind such horrific ways of thinking. It has shaken me to my core. It has completely changed the way I view people.

      Depression is not something I’ve ever struggled with. Anxiety, yes, but not depression. I’ve never had that feeling of no hope, or pointlessness. Until this. When it was declared official, that he had truly won, I felt empty. Hollow. I cried. I hurt. I hurt in ways that can’t be fixed with positive thinking or a hug. How can I possibly help this? What can I possibly do when so much of our country supports this kind of behavior and thinking as acceptable?

      But I refuse to give up. I spent yesterday grieving. And in many ways I still am. I am still very scared for the changes that will come to this country. But I will not give in. I CAN NOT believe that racism, sexism, bigotry, and ignorance will become the norm. I can’t live like that. And I won’t. I will now put even more effort into living my life in the best way possible with the best values possible. I will put even more effort into making sure my child grows up to be an accepting, open-minded, feminist, liberal thinking woman. This is how I contribute. This is how WE ALL contribute. Don’t give up. And don’t give in. Speak up when you see and hear things that are unacceptable. Don’t be a bystander. Spread love, acceptance, and kindness where you can. It’s all we’ve got.